A Few Degrees Off Course

"The difference between happiness and misery … often comes down to an error of only a few degrees." --Deider F. Uchtdorf

It is amazing to me how cunning the adversary is and how easily he can slip into our lives. Over the last couple of months, since I was called as Relief Society president in our ward, I have progressively struggled more and more with feelings of inadequacy coupled with pride and seeking after the esteem of man. The more I sought for praise or just reassurance through the words of those around me, the more I felt inadequate and as though I was failing. I was still reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, yet I had not fully repented of my pride.

Today at church one of the talks was about Saul and referenced a talk by Deider F. Uchtdorf that talks about how the difference between happiness and misery can come down to a very small error. The speaker today also went on to talk about pride, in particular in relation to the story of Saul.

It was so hard to admit to myself and to the Lord that I had fallen into pride, but I mostly surely had. Despite my scripture study and prayer, I had distanced myself from the Lord by my pride. As I heard the talk I realized very quickly that that was my big problem right now. I immediately began pleading with the Lord for forgiveness in this area. Just as quickly I began to feel the peace of the Lord fall upon me.

As we moved on to Sunday school, the lesson also talked of the pitfalls of being in leadership, including pride. Again I felt the Lord lovingly chastising me and trying to help and direct me. A main portion of the lesson came from Doctrine and Covenants section 121 verses 33-40. It talks about how many are called but few are chosen, and that they are not chosen mainly because their hearts are set upon the things of the world and aspire to the honors of men, among other things.

How easy it is to take a slightly wrong turn, maybe even only 1 degree, and head slowly but surely toward the things of the world rather than the things of the Lord. There are so many things in this life that have good purposes but can also be used as tools by Satan to drag us down. I love facebook, email, the Internet, and also blogging, but each of these things have proven mighty temptations in their own ways over time. Satan loves to use the tools against me of mismanagement of time, by distracting me on the computer, along with seeking after the praise of man through facebook and even this blog.

I hope and pray that I can continue to whole heartedly and continually seek after the things of the Lord and seek his continual forgiveness. It is awesome how the Lord is so very loving, and forgiving, that he will always take us back, no matter how far we have fallen. He is always there, we just have to seek after him.