Towards the beginning of this year I felt inspired to cut back my hours at work. I had been working 4 and 5 shifts per week. As I was studying last conference's talks, the thought came clearly to me, that I should cut down to 3 shifts per week at the hospital.
In January I fasted and prayed about what my goals should be for this year, and one of them was to spend more time with my family and working on my business, and consequently I received the reassurance that cutting back to 3 shifts per week was in deed what the Lord was directing me to do at this time. This was a somewhat scary idea for me, in that I only had 2 midwife clients at the time and no possible ones in sight, and our budget was based solidly on 4 shifts per week. However, I could not deny that this was the Lord's guidance for me, and I knew that He would bless us accordingly.
This should not have been too scary. I have plenty of faith. However, I have always liked to have some control over my finances and like to plan ahead and know exactly how much money we have to pay our bills. So, going in to this last paycheck, my first one on only 3 shifts per week, I must admit, I was worried. As it got closer and closer to pay day, and no new clients, I kept trying to push away those fears and doubts. Then one of my son's glasses broke beyond repair, my daughter started having some teeth problems. We had to make an extra, unexpected trip to San Antonio.
I stepped up my prayers. I asked Heavenly Father to help me have faith and be patient. I think this may have been one of the hardest tests of my faith I had had in awhile. I even questioned a little if the 3 shifts per week thing was just wishful thinking. Again, I prayed harder.
Friday morning, payday, I was awoken to a phone call. Wouldn't you know, it was a woman looking for a midwife. We scheduled an interview for that evening. Then I quickly got ready, and went off to a meeting for midwives. Just afterwards, I returned an unrecognized phone call. The person calling dialed my number accidentally, but just so happened, was looking for a midwife, and didn't know how to find one.
I then went to a prenatal appointment, where a client going through financial difficulties, had an unexpected financial blessing, and paid me double what she originally thought she would. I felt so overwhelmed by the knowledge that Heavenly Father was coming through for me and my family, that I was shaking. He was blessing me well beyond what I had hoped. Finally, I went to the interview, and they hired me.
It reminds me of the scripture about Peter trying to walk on water with Jesus, in Matt 14: 28-31 . Peter starts to walk on the water out to Jesus, but gets scared and then Jesus saves him, and says "o ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" I had faith, but as the seas and winds in my life started to get rough, I started to doubt, and cry out to Him, and He did rescue me. I feel overwhelmed with His great blessings at this time.
I guess I didn't totally doubt, in that I didn't succumb to picking up extra shifts. I have also seen other blessings from backing down to 3 shifts. I am spending more time with my family. I have been able to work on things for my business that I had had to put off previously for lack of time. I have now had the great blessing of moving forward with faith, not knowing what lay ahead of me, only what I was to do, and seeing, that the Lord has everything in His hands and is very much aware of me and my family.