Go Forward with Faith

Towards the beginning of this year I felt inspired to cut back my hours at work. I had been working 4 and 5 shifts per week. As I was studying last conference's talks, the thought came clearly to me, that I should cut down to 3 shifts per week at the hospital.

In January I fasted and prayed about what my goals should be for this year, and one of them was to spend more time with my family and working on my business, and consequently I received the reassurance that cutting back to 3 shifts per week was in deed what the Lord was directing me to do at this time. This was a somewhat scary idea for me, in that I only had 2 midwife clients at the time and no possible ones in sight, and our budget was based solidly on 4 shifts per week. However, I could not deny that this was the Lord's guidance for me, and I knew that He would bless us accordingly.

This should not have been too scary. I have plenty of faith. However, I have always liked to have some control over my finances and like to plan ahead and know exactly how much money we have to pay our bills. So, going in to this last paycheck, my first one on only 3 shifts per week, I must admit, I was worried. As it got closer and closer to pay day, and no new clients, I kept trying to push away those fears and doubts. Then one of my son's glasses broke beyond repair, my daughter started having some teeth problems. We had to make an extra, unexpected trip to San Antonio.

I stepped up my prayers. I asked Heavenly Father to help me have faith and be patient. I think this may have been one of the hardest tests of my faith I had had in awhile. I even questioned a little if the 3 shifts per week thing was just wishful thinking. Again, I prayed harder.

Friday morning, payday, I was awoken to a phone call. Wouldn't you know, it was a woman looking for a midwife. We scheduled an interview for that evening. Then I quickly got ready, and went off to a meeting for midwives. Just afterwards, I returned an unrecognized phone call. The person calling dialed my number accidentally, but just so happened, was looking for a midwife, and didn't know how to find one.

I then went to a prenatal appointment, where a client going through financial difficulties, had an unexpected financial blessing, and paid me double what she originally thought she would. I felt so overwhelmed by the knowledge that Heavenly Father was coming through for me and my family, that I was shaking. He was blessing me well beyond what I had hoped. Finally, I went to the interview, and they hired me.

It reminds me of the scripture about Peter trying to walk on water with Jesus, in Matt 14: 28-31 . Peter starts to walk on the water out to Jesus, but gets scared and then Jesus saves him, and says "o ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" I had faith, but as the seas and winds in my life started to get rough, I started to doubt, and cry out to Him, and He did rescue me. I feel overwhelmed with His great blessings at this time.

I guess I didn't totally doubt, in that I didn't succumb to picking up extra shifts. I have also seen other blessings from backing down to 3 shifts. I am spending more time with my family. I have been able to work on things for my business that I had had to put off previously for lack of time. I have now had the great blessing of moving forward with faith, not knowing what lay ahead of me, only what I was to do, and seeing, that the Lord has everything in His hands and is very much aware of me and my family.

What is My Part in Being Healed? Spiritual Answers to My Weight Loss Problems

"Having compassion for a man who was blind since birth, the Savior"spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, and said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam...He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing' (John 9:6-7)."

I came across this story the other day, and it really struck a chord with me. In this particular account, it talks about a few key factors in being healed by the Savior.
1. We come to the Savior with our problem
2. The Savior, Jesus Christ, has compassion for us
3. He does His part
4. We do our part
5. We are healed

Many times in the scriptures the stories of Christ healing the sick or afflicted in other manner follows this pattern. I can think to problems in my own life that He has helped me in or even healed me of, and they often fit this pattern as well.

The biggest thing that I needing healing of and continue to, over the last couple of years, has been my problem of compulsive overeating. Just over 2 years ago, I weighed my all time high of 305 pounds. I could walk only short distances at work without feeling tired and/or winded. I always wanted to be sitting down. My size 3X uniforms were tight and ripping from time to time. I felt like my spiritual life was lacking to a certain degree.

Then one day, I had had enough. I realized that my problem with food was more than physical, it was spiritual. I turned to the Lord with all of my heart and prayed for His help, prayed for Him to heal me, and to let me know my part. Whatever He asked of me, I was willing to do. He directed me to do several things, which I did, and I began to lose weight. Even more, my desire to compulsively eat began to fade. I have not had a dessert, sugar filled or sugar free in over 2 years. I lost 120 pounds. He truly was healing me.

At the same time, I have been stuck with the last 20-30 pounds I want to lose, hanging around for the last several months. It has been very frustrating. I have often wondered, what am I doing wrong? I realize, or at least I am admitting to myself, that I have forgotten some important parts of this healing process from time to time.

1. I have not consistently been coming to the Savior with my problem, every day, every meal, every problem. If I skip this step, the rest of the process disappears.

2. Jesus has continued to have compassion on me, that has not changed; however, I at times have been unaccepting of his help or compassion, or have simply not asked for it.

3. He always does His part. No matter how many times I fall, He always picks me up, if I simply ask. This one part truly amazes me and humbles me. He has so many other people to worry about, yet, me, the sinner that I am, He will always help, if I will merely turn to Him.

4. I have not been asking what my part is, and when I have asked, I have been inconsistent in doing my part. This is the hardest part, if I will let it be. Yet I know from experience, that He will give me the strength and help to do anything He asks of me. I just need to ask.


So, what is my part in being healed at this point in my life? I think, for starters, I need to turn to Him fully again. He has real solutions for my problems, and especially this one that I am struggling with now. Then, I need to be willing to take whatever His answers are and do them, completely, and consistently, every day, every meal, every bite.